In my years of working with people around eating disorders and disordered eating, I can’t tell you the number of times someone describes feeling out of control with chocolate chips and peanut butter. At face value it may seem innocent enough: chocolate and peanut butter are two delicious items, duh. And sure, they are delicious! But for all the unique people with unique and individual tastes I’ve seen, I find it hard to believe so many favor a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate chips thrown on top as their treat of choice.
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Okay, so we’re post-Thanksgiving and middle-holiday season. A normal response (that we’ve been conditioned to believe is a bad way our body responds to evil food) is to sometimes get bloated. It can trigger a reaction in us that induces guilt, pushes us to start planning how we’re going to adjust our eating to ‘fix’ it, and makes us feel like we did something wrong. Our heads can be scary places after (what are normal) experiences of eating past fullness.
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It’s the day after Halloween. You wake up feeling a mix of guilt and fear. Guilt because you ate all the candy that didn’t get passed out (candy that isn’t even a kind you particularly enjoy, which you did on purpose), wrappers in a heap on the table that you quickly smushed together and disposed of, angry with yourself and unable to tolerate seeing the ‘evidence’. Along comes fear. Fear that you’re not going to be able to pass up the leftover candy everyone is bringing in to the office today. Or maybe you feel resolve, confident you can pass it up because you are so disgusted with yourself you just know you’ll be able to be strong.
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